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How To Work Around A Client with Irrational Beliefs

by Coaching Out of the Box

In the coaching world, one might come across a client who has what may be referred to as “irrational beliefs”, which have various definitions but for the sake of this article, we will refer to them as limiting beliefs about life, abilities, attitudes, opinions and values that do not align with how things actually are. For instance, the University of Birmingham notes four types of irrational beliefs, however, they mostly stem from “Demand”, which often features language such as “must”, “absolute”, “have to”, etc. For instance, a client may express that if they are unable to achieve a dream or goal, they will be a failure – this is also referred to as “awfulizing”.

Although it can be tough to get a client through these beliefs, there are some steps that may help:

  1. Clients with strong beliefs associating outcomes to self-worth may not be immediately able to see how these types of thoughts will limit them. Try to get the client to understand the realistic outcomes of a failed situation, which may help them visualize life beyond the setback.
  2. Use logic and reasoning as much as possible when addressing these beliefs since they are most likely illogical in nature. For instance, a client who may feel terrible, wouldn’t necessarily think they are terrible. The same logic may translate into failure in action vs. failure in self.
  3. Dispute certain beliefs with empirical evidence. Challenge the client to prove their beliefs are in fact realistic. Occasionally this might enlighten the client or at least begin the process to having them see things differently.
  4. Use a scale to have the client identify where they perceive they land. For instance, if they feel they are not competent, have them provide their competency on a scale of 1-100%. Use this number as a starting point for discussion on recent events that might disprove this belief. This number may also prove useful to measure the client’s progress by asking the same scale in future sessions.
  5. Implement small changes in a positive direction. These small changes may impact greater outcomes for multiple situations (since clients likely use the same solutions they always have for each problem – if they have a slightly different solution, they will see different results). Once the client starts to see the results, they may reconsider their previous beliefs.

Irrational beliefs can be built up over a lifetime of perceiving situations in the wrong light. Undoing this may take some time and persistence, but it is possible and once the client has opened up to new possibilities past these limiters, the results will speak for themselves.

Coaching Out of The Box has several courses available this fall. See our calendar of events or sign up for our newsletter to learn more.

Want to learn how we can bring leadership skills to your business or organization? Contact us directly to discuss the options available for you.

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How to Set Boundaries with Clients

by Coaching Out of the Box

 

Boundaries are essential to a healthy relationship with any client. Sometimes coaches allow problematic client behaviors to continue for fear of upsetting, or even losing, the client. This sets a precedent that can lead to bigger problems down the road.

You need to decide, as the coach, what boundaries are important to you. Identify comfortable physical, mental, emotional and spiritual limits before starting out with clients. And for when you do start, here are 6 ways to set and preserve your boundaries.

 

  1. Respect your own time. Starting late or staying late are options for extreme situations. Do not allow clients to take advantage of you to suit their schedules.

  2. Communicate effectively. Some clients will have similar communication styles to yours, and some will not. Learn the difference and have appropriate conversations early on.

  3. Stay in control. If you are losing control of the relationship with your client, be assertive. Even when clients are unaware that they are stepping over set boundaries, they need a firm reminder.

  4. Say no and mean it. This can be a difficult skill to learn but it’s essential when coaching a client, and in life. Say no to activities that take up too much time or energy. Say no to conversations that are inappropriately personal.

  5. Set client expectations early and consistently. In your email, for example, make a signature or footer that identifies working times and how soon clients might expect a response from you. Keep the client informed and hold your ground.

  6. Be done with guilt. Never feel guilty about the boundaries you set or the decisions you make. A client who doesn’t like your boundaries may use manipulation or guilt to change them, and those clients may be better served by a different coach

Setting boundaries with your clients should never be considered a bad thing in a coaching relationship. Your professionalism establishes you, the coach, as a leader, and a relationship based on mutual respect builds trust and sets your client up for a greater potential future.

How to Set Boundaries with Clients - is a powerful part of our Personal Groundwork for Coaching ProgramTM

Learn More! Personal Groundwork for Coaching ProgramTM

 

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Coaching Out of the Box has several courses available to teach you important skills to manage clients. See our calendar of events or sign up for our newsletter to learn more.

Want to learn how we can bring leadership skills to your business or organization? Contact us directly to discuss the options available for you.

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What Will It Take To Believe In Your Coachee?

by Coaching Out of the Box

In order to be successful at coaching a client, a coach must be able to connect with them. This takes a decisive strategy to really get to the right questions and delve into who the client is. It also takes believing in the client and knowing that they are an intelligent being, capable of finding the answers they are looking for, but they just need a little help to get there. A coach must believe in their own abilities as well as those of their clients. Here are some keys to building up that connection with the client that allow a coach to believe in the client’s ability to solve their problem:

  1. Listen intently to what the client is saying. Put the focus on them and believe what they are saying to be their truth in the situation. Do not inject personal judgments or beliefs into their story.
  2. Don’t get distracted. Thoughts, future responses, additional questions, to-do lists, even daydreams can get in the way of actually listening to a client. Their words may be heard, but listening is more than just hearing. Absorbing the information and cataloguing it is also important.
  3. Ask the right questions. This can be tricky depending on the person and their ability to discuss personal information, but really getting to know them will assist in the ability to help them.
  4. Dig deeper than just the surface. Sometimes coaches have a question bias or they fail to dig deeper to the underlying issues that might trigger the required responses in the client. Perhaps the client is not even aware those causes exist and asking evocative questions helps them discover new things about themselves and their behaviours.
  5. Don’t feel the need to be the expert in the client’s situation. The coach is the expert in coaching but the client is the expert in their life and situation.
  6. Provide feedback. Do this without judgment or leading the client in a direction they may not be headed organically.

A client who feels their coach believes in them is a client who is more likely to open up about their situation and allow their coach to really dig in. Ultimately, the client is the one in charge of the decisions and having someone believe in their ability to make the right decisions can make a world of difference.

Coaching Out of The Box has several courses available this fall. See our calendar of events or sign up for our newsletter to learn more.

Want to learn how we can bring leadership skills to your business or organization? Contact us directly to discuss the options available for you.

You can also connect with us via email: [email protected], or at any of our social media sites:

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What is Required to Bring Out The Best In Others?

by Coaching Out of the Box

Leaders are tasked with many objectives, but one of the biggest is to bring out the best in their team. This may seem like a daunting task to some, but there are key habits to form which may help bring about a team’s best results. The following are the basics to help a leader learn to bring out the best in others:

  • Learn not to micromanage. Believe in the team’s abilities to do what they are supposed to do and trust them to complete their tasks.
  • Create a safe environment for open dialogue. Give permission for team members to speak their mind and opinions without judgment. Build the trust within the team so everyone feels included in discussions.
  • Focus on each team member’s strengths and encourage them to grow. This not only helps them to see their own worth but allows them to feel valuable to the team effort.
  • Listen to concerns and empathize with others. This can help with reducing any stress or tension that person or persons may have.
  • Recognize good performance individually and as a team. Often a small reward for a job well done can help motivate.
  • Provide feedback in a positive way and let the person know their contributions are valued.
  • Encourage team members, especially when challenges arise. Supporting someone during challenging times may make a difference in their outcomes.

When each member of the team is doing their best, the outcome of their work will be productive. This will reflect positively on the team and the leader.

Coaching Out of The Box has several courses available this fall. See our calendar of events or sign up for our newsletter to learn more.

Want to learn how we can bring leadership skills to your business or organization? Contact us directly to discuss the options available for you.

You can also connect with us via email: [email protected], or at any of our social media sites:

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How Do You Support Someone In Achieving Their Dreams?

by Coaching Out of the Box

Most people you will encounter have dreams, ambitions, goals or desires. They want to do better, be better and achieve more. How they get to this point is what stops them from achieving their dreams. Quite often they will need help along the way and may not know where to turn or who to speak to in order to get this help.

Les Brown is quoted as saying, “Help others achieve their dreams and you will achieve yours.” As a coach, this is very true. We strive to help others build themselves up to do better. Our goal is to see them achieve their desires. But how do we go about helping them do this?

  1. Help them establish their goal. Discuss their values and what is important to them.
  2. Develop these goals into a specific plan. Encourage them to define what they are wanting to do and how they will know when they have achieved their goal.
  3. Help them assess whether their goal is achievable or what obstacles they might face that can be overcome or may not be overcome.
  4. Encourage them to prioritize their actions to achieve their goal.
  5. Help them write out their goals and plans, including any steps required to reach these goals. A specific plan is important to have and even more important to have on hand in case they run into problems in the future.
  6. Try to help them work out alternatives in case there are obstacles they can foresee.
  7. Offer encouragement along the way.
  8. Check in with them to see how they are progressing and if they need to discuss their plan further or refine some of it.
  9. Celebrate their achievements with them. Celebrating is always more fun with someone else. This additional encouragement may be all they need to go on to the next steps, especially if the path becomes harder.

Once the person reaches their goal, you will hopefully feel accomplished as well. You were instrumental in their process and that makes their success your success too!

Coaching Out of The Box has several courses available this fall. See our calendar of events or sign up for our newsletter to learn more.

Want to learn how we can bring leadership skills to your business or organization? Contact us directly to discuss the options available for you.

You can also connect with us via email: info@coachingoutofthebox.com, or at any of our social media sites:

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