“Self-trust is the first secret of success”. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to trust ourselves. Trust that we will make the right decision. Trust that under pressure we will do the right thing. Trust that when placed in a difficult situation that we will be able to cope. Trust that we will say the right thing at the right time. Trust that our coaching skills are good enough or that we are good coaches.
Key to building self trust is listening to our gut instincts; that little twinge deep inside that indicates the best direction or the thing to say in that moment. In coaching, when we ask the question that our gut is telling us to ask, 9 times out of 10 it is exactly what the coachee needs to be asked.
I had the pleasure to sit down with Stephen M.R. Covey last week to discuss the importance of trust and how it can cut through the noise and clutter in today’s economy.
Here is a short clip after our interview which appeared in the Telegraph Journal May 17, 2012. (full interview below) (Sorry for the wobbly camera at the beginning, either to much coffee or my nerves getting the best of me.) :-)
Sponsor I mentioned
Coaching Out of the Box® – 5/5/5 Coaching Skills Training Program™ is the training programs of training programs for business executives and managers who want to enhance their coaching skills and build TRUST within their organization. Find out more about the training.
PS - Don’t forget to check out the UNB Fall Seminar, FranklinCovey’s Leading at the Speed of Trust on September 20th.
“You can do it! I believe in you!”
“Hey Jim, job well done on that project!”
“Wow! What an awesome insight!”
Aaahhh, words of encouragement. One of the many highlights of being a coach is genuinely encouraging our teams and individual coachees. In doing so, we get to be their cheerleaders or champions for their cause (minus the pom-poms and short, shorts), witness their faces light up, or hear the lift in their voices when told that what they are doing or who they are is really awesome!! What could be better? Seriously.
Are you Curious? In your normal every day conversations, do you ask before you tell? Or, do you have the impulse to automatically share your opinion or give a solution, when an issue is presented? If you tend to tell, before ask, you are like most of us in the world; ‘knowing’ answers and having experiences that we filter all of our listening through, and then quickly offering these in support of others, without much further exploration (or curious inquiry).
Now let’s take that impulse and filter it through coaching. In a coach approach to communication, it is an absolute must to stretch our curiosity muscles and become explorers: To step out of our own knowing, and with curious questions, dig for gold in the inherent wisdom of a coachee. The interesting thing is, that the more we are in curious inquiry, the more the coachee comes up with new insights and answers!
Listening is one of the most powerful core competencies of coaching. I’ve often told learners who are new to coaching if they can’t remember the five coaching skills in our model, just remember to listen! That in itself is tremendously powerful.
When coaches move beyond the novice stage and into a more experienced level, there are a number of factors that raise the bar in their efficacy. It all begins with listening. The coach expands their capacity to hear beyond the words and listen on multiple levels. It’s what I like to call full sensory listening. What does this mean exactly? Some of it is metaphoric and some of it is very real to the senses. Let’s break it down: