This list of 10+1 important considerations when Coaching Through Crisis is presented as a mindful guide you can put in practice today.
Reset your coaching agreement. Align to the new conditions.
In the coaching relationship we have an agreement. We have an agreement in terms of what we're going to talk about. We have a formal agreements for payment. There's also a subtle coaching agreement, which simply says "what are we working on together? What's the focus of our conversation? What are the outcomes? How are we going to measure our success? Now is a really good time to realign those those coaching agreements by having a conversation with each one of your clients to align to a new set of conditions and continue to align as conditions change.
Shift their fear to facts – Ask: What do you know for sure?
It's real easy to focus on the fear because it's available - the shift we need is to move from fear to facts. A powerful question to ask is "What do we know for sure?" We know we have this fear somebody might get ill. What are we know for sure is they are not sick today. We know for sure if they're taking precautions today. We know for sure is that they're isolating and they're following the instructions that's what we know for sure. A grounding in reality of what you know. What's the truth of today? What's the what's the truth in the moment.
For example, on a virtual walk with a client, who was at about 10,000 feet in terms of stress and frustration and overwhelm and work -- for the forty minutes all the focus on that one question. "What do we know for sure?" The client started out unsure but you keep circling back to that question. By the time we were done with our virtual walk, they felt they knew where I'm going. They had very good clarity. Fear facts replace fear very very substantially.
Fully listen for the context. Listen for what is missing.
One of the core skills of any coach any manager and hopefully any parent is the ability to listen. In coaching we call it listening for context. The adage that only 7% of what we say in words is what's communicated and the rest, the other 93%, is nonverbal and tone. It's really important to listen to the context of the conversations that are happening, particularly in this kind of crisis situation. You listen for what is missing. If they normally talk about their work, kids, or goals and aspirations and today they're not. That is a powerful observation that you can make and bring to their attention. Really fully listening to the context of what's happening of their mood.
If you want to be a great coach you must be a great listener.
Listening skills are essential for anyone who wants to be a great coach. Most people think that if they hear somebody, they must be listening to them, but that isn’t true at all.
Hearing is the passive act of perceiving sound by the ear, but listening is active. Listening is something you intentionally choose to do. It requires concentration so that your brain can process what is heard and then create meaning from words and sentences. On average, people forget between one thirds and half of what we heard within 8 hours. The responsibility of coaching means that it isn’t good enough to be average.
Great listeners ask questions that tap into the coachee’s ideas and wisdom. They listen for what is not said. They check in to make sure they understand what the other person is saying. They stay focused, they have patience, they don’t make assumptions, and they get it right. Most of us aren’t born with it, but lucky for us, great listening is a skill that we can learn and practice.
What gets in the way of being a great listener?
Many things get in the way of being a great listener. Some of the challenges are human and some of them are technological, but we have to be alert to them all before we start listening.
- Distractions in the room
- Mentally scripting what you need to do or say next
- Tempting incoming emails and text messages
- The need to get your point out or disagree with the coachee
- Boredom or disinterest in the topic
- Complacency about listening
And the other person in your conversation faces all the same challenges while they listen to you.
Why being a great listener is so important for coaches
The ICF defines listening as the “Ability to focus completely on what the client is saying and is not saying, to understand the meaning of what is said in the context of the client’s desires, and to support client self-expression.”
People are yearning to be listened to and listening leads to learning. As coaches we help our clients go farther, faster, easier, quicker, and better than they would have without a coach. But there is no way to do this if we aren’t listening to what the client is really saying.
Great listening skills have never been as important as they are today. People are dealing with so much information and so many distractions while facing bigger and more complex challenges. People need to be listened to.
Great coaches learn great listening skills.
We teach great coaches
We have a wide range of programs that incorporate listening skills into learning. The following tables provide an overview of our courses.
|Take the first step towards coaching||Obtain an ICF Associate Certified Coach (ACC) Credential|
|On your way to an ICF Credential?|
|Experienced coaches wanting CCE’s in Core Competencies||Introduce or train others in coaching|
To find out more about our programs and where you can enhance your listening skills, schedule a call with our Program Advisor.
Coaching Success Story: 5/5/5 Coaching Skills Training Program™
We recently learned of yet another success story that illustrates just how powerful and transformational coaching is and we just had to share it.
Alison Hendren, founder and CEO of Coaching Out of the Box® sat down with Colin McAllister, one of our licensed trainers to learn more about his success story in delivering the 5/5/5 Coaching Skills Training Program™. The results were, in his words, “really, really positive outcomes and amazing”. One participant of his program had this to say, “In 30 years this is the best training session I’ve been a part of”.
View this short video to learn more about Colin’s Success Story.
If this type of success story gets you fired up and you want to learn more about becoming a licensed trainer, keep reading!
What is a licensed trainer and why would you want to become one?
A Coaching Out of the Box® licensed trainer is a coaching educator that has developed the expertise and earned the right to deliver the 5/5/5 Coaching Skills Training Program™. The 5/5/5 Coaching Skills Training Program™ model;
- is a simple, intuitive and highly transferable framework that teaches powerful and practical coaching skills
- is easy to learn, easy to apply and effective; especially well-suited for busy executives and managers
- has been delivered to 20,000 people in 38 countries
To become licensed, coaches complete the Train the Trainer for the 5/5/5 Coaching Skills Training Program™. During this program participants not only develop the expertise to deliver the program but also gain in-depth knowledge of advanced coaching skills and learn to use their skills in a new and expanded role.
When you become a licensed trainer, you take on the role of educating others, helping them to develop coaching skills rather than coaching per se. Of course, a licensed trainer uses his/her coaching skills in the education process. Becoming a licensed trainer expands your reach, adds to your toolkit and provides another source of revenue.
If you are interested in learning more about becoming a licensed trainer, you’ll want to read our Guide to Becoming a Coaching Educator. This guide highlights the success story of another Coaching Out of the Box® licensed trainer. She had this to say about becoming a licensed trainer to deliver the 5/5/5 Coaching Skills Training Program™
“the key benefits to me as a business owner is that it is a fabulous tool in my toolkit. It is easy to talk to organizations about the 5/5/5 Coaching Skills Training Program™. It is a money maker and an opportunity for group coaching which I find very fulfilling”.
Download the Guide here.
We are continually adding services and resources to support coaches and those who use coaching to lead. As part of our effort we are happy to announce that COTBx was recently approved as a SHRM (Society for Human Resource Management) Recertification Provider. SHRM credential holders will earn PDC’s (Personal Development Credits) toward their recertification when completing our programs. The number of PDC’s earned can be found on our program web pages.
SHRM has established the SHRM Recertification Provider Program to give organizations that offer education, training and/or other HR-related Competency and Knowledge programming the opportunity to award PDCs.
In order to qualify as a Recertification Provider, organizations are required to complete an application and meet several requirements. This application process ensures that Recertification Providers offer high quality education and training programs that address HR Competencies and/or Knowledge Domains. Requirements to become a Recertification Provider include;
- Must offer appropriate high-quality programming, developed and presented by appropriate subject matter experts.
- Programming should address the HR Competencies and/or Knowledge Domains needed for effective job performance, as outlined in the SHRM Body of Competency and Knowledge (BoCK).
- Each program offering must describe both learning objectives and Competencies/Knowledge areas to be taught, with specific references to the SHRM BoCK.
- Each presenter/instructor/speaker must have proven expertise in the field and the ability to facilitate learning.
- Provider must have a participant evaluation process in place and utilize feedback to ensure continuous improvement in program content and quality.
Check out our programs to see how you can learn coaching skills while earning SHRM PDC’s.
In coaching we talk about having a working balance in three areas of your life; Career / Family / Self Care.
The connected world has brought wonderful enhancements from “Hey Google” tell me everything to sharing magical family moments on social media.
What has being connected done to your area of Self-Care? Is there still self-care time in your life?
Sometimes we mix it up and convince ourselves self-care time is happening when we are alone using our devices. … Not so! … I postulate that self-care at its best is when the input we get is from inside ourselves; not the input from the outside screen.
When was the last time you really paused and connected inside of you?
Try it more often. If you can truly connect inside for hours at a time good for you. For most of us five, maybe ten minutes, is the best we can muster and daily is just not happening.
Now is a good time for self-care. No, no, I mean literally right now!! Just sit for the next 5 minutes and witness what comes up for you. Muse at how long it takes before you bounce up and ‘do’ something or reach for the phone for FOMO (fear of missing out). All that inner dialog is input from inside. It is telling you what you are mentally and emotionally focused on.
Do you see the value of these 5 minutes yet? Just imagine how conflicted and off balance a person would be if the input from their head was all about things to do, fears, time pressure and a bunch of “what-ifs”, when what they really desire emotionally is calm, rest and just being in the moment. What a gift they now have by learning what they are focusing on in each moment is the opposite of what they truly want in life.
Hmmmm, let’s check how balanced your inside input was today. How many of your thoughts were focused on something other than what you truly want for yourself? Focused on what others need or even demand vs. what you need to fuel yourself to thrive and be your most powerful self?
Make 2019 the time to inner connect, listen deeply to yourself. Set aside wi-fi and go for me-fi.
Me time … it really is all it’s cracked up to be.
Take it up a notch.
Written by: Merv Rogers, MCC - Chief Coaching Officer at Coaching Out of the Box®